My worsening English

The worst thing if I may refer to while being blessed with the scholarships in this such high-standard, developed but yet changing country of Japan is my worsening English. It is really getting worse and worse.

Claiming that my English was that good might sounds hyperbolic but indeed it is becoming too bad nowadays. Using English in writing as well as verbal communications is something awful in my present life among my Japanese community. Speaking English as it is supposed to be frequently resulted in a lag of conversation. Then I reluctantly had been using a broken English to ensure mutual understanding. Attending an international conference with English as the formal language or a national meeting with a few English-speaking speakers, were really blessing occasions for me.

A few weeks ago, I complained of my bad English spelling. So bad, that I was really loosing my confidence just to write an English posting in mailing-list community.

The worst experience came when my manuscript was being checked by a professional but yet Japanese company offering service in English-check. Oh God, they suggested so many revisions I should make. I was really shocked then. Am I that bad?

Well, man is not supposed to give up then. Recent weeks, I decided to loosen some tights of my expenditure management and made a little bit increases of budget for enjoying leisure time in watching some English movies.

The first movies just made me in a deeper blue, since I was so surprised to be that fool in understanding what they were really saying. Having the English subtitle being displayed in a few of them -­ they are Japan market targeted DVDs -­ helped me to recall my "intuition" of English.

Until then, I tried to read again my manuscript and the revisions the company had suggested. Well, being honest, the basic problem was the difference in the style of English I was using and their way to view it. It really healed a lot of the pain of my pride.

Now, in re-building up my confidence I tried to write this in my blog. I write it to ease my doubtness and in a hope that you all will be so honest just to call any mistake I still made without any hesitancy.

So, please be my guests to raise any suggestion. Thanks a lot.